Obituary of Lillian Blanche Forbes

By Roy Forbes Lillian (named for her aunty Fern, who's second name was Lillian, and for her aunty Blanche, our matriarch, who is here with us today) was born in Pouce Coupe, B.C. on March 27th, 1941. Her parents, Roy and Margaret Forbes, lived in Rolla. Daddy farmed some land and had the coveted H plate for the district. He hauled grain and other commodities for the community. Mom was at the beginning of her long stint as our amazing mother. At the time, Nan and Grandpa Forbes were running the Columbia Hotel, now the famous Rolla Pub. Lil's musical talents were front and center during her early days in Rolla. She sang in the choir at the United Church and was musically active in the various youth groups in the little community. When there was bully-trouble in the schoolyard, Lil would stick up for her younger siblings. In 1955, our father died suddenly, a devastating tragedy that shook our family to the core. Lil was just 14 and, as Rhoda says, "We had to grow up quite fast when our dad died...working hard, doing laundry, house cleaning and anything else we could do to help Mom". Mom married Dave Fellers in 1959 and the family (Lillian, Rhoda, Margaret Ann, Judi and I) left Rolla for Dawson Creek. Dave brought Betty, Dorothy and Bill to our blended family. In 1963, we were blessed with our little sister, Brenda. Lil had a varied and interesting working life. In the early sixties, she went to Ontario with her good friend Jackie Johnson where she worked as a hospital receptionist. After a couple of years, she returned to Dawson Creek where she put in a stint as a telephone operator with BC Tel, moving on after a while to manage a ladies clothing store in Peace River. She then went to Fort Nelson where she hired on with CN as a telephone operator, staying for around three years. In the late sixties, she relocated to Vancouver to take a job with Yellow Pages, where she stayed until 1973 when she returned to the Peace Country, moving into the family house in Rolla. On her Peace Country return, Lil worked for the Peace River Block News and delivered mail, all the while taking courses at Northern Lights College, working towards her degree in social work. Lillian became a social worker in the Dawson Creek area, having a positive effect on many young lives. Lillian eventually returned to Fort Nelson. She worked closely with the Fort Nelson First Nations Chalo School. While working with children and their families she also spent time with the Elders, learning about the First Nations culture. Lil immersed herself in the culture, which enabled her to offer her help in a way that benefited all she encountered. Aunty Lil LOVED her nieces and nephews and spent a lot of time with them in the early years. (The niece-and-nephew stories of wild and crazy escapades and adventures with their fun loving aunt were a highlight of the eulogy I presented at Lillian's service.) Travis summed it all up when he said, "She was a great Aunt. We (nieces and nephews) were lucky to have had her in our lives". Our sister Lillian was the best big sister anyone could ever have. She was glamorous, classy, sassy, sophisticated and very giving to her younger siblings. As Brenda says, "Lil was incredibly generous with her time and her love and her money. She bought the best gifts EVER! She was a role model for other women in that she was a natural born feminist and, like being a Christian, she never had to tell you, because she lived it. It was the real deal". Lillian loved to cook. She was always up for trying new things, introducing all kinds of exotic-for-the-time dishes (both savoury and sweet) to the family recipe cache, long before they became the norm in our collective culture. As Rhoda says, "Lil was an awesome cook. She taught us there was more than salt and pepper for seasoning". Music is what so many of us remember Lil for. That lovely, smooth, velvety voice. Judi has many fond memories and stories of singing with Lil at Rotary Manor in her later years, after her stroke in 2004. Lil was an honourary member of the Potluck Singers and, legend has it, was the only one who didn't need a lyric book in front of her. Lil knew the words to almost every old song there was; country, rock and roll, pop, jazz or otherwise. Judi says, "My time doing gigs with Lil throughout the care home pods were some of my favourite times in the whole world - even though she did boss me around and couldn't tolerate me playing the wrong chords. I wonder if those angel guitar players make mistakes. Lordy!", As for me, Lillian was one of most important shapers of my musical sensibility. Her inquisitive, adventurous nature expanded my musical horizons beyond the country, rock and roll and pop music that was all around us. She brought home jazz LPs as well as show tunes, big band and light classical records, which I soaked up like a sponge. Lil gave me my first Bob Dylan and Billie Holiday albums. And so on. And, I have to say that, over the years, one of the deepest music-making connections I've ever had was with my big sister. That connection continued until our last musical get-together at Rotary Manor, back in February of this year. It seems like I've been up here a long while and yet it feels like I'm just getting started. There was so much to Lil's amazing and varied life. She touched so many, so deeply. I feel like I've left out so much. And, frankly, I want to keep talking because I don't want to face the fact that Lillian is gone and that I have to learn to live without her. But, actually, Lillian is not really gone. Her spirit is here today, in all of our hearts. As Brenda said, "We all have memories and snippets of what we knew and remember of Lillian. But, it wouldn't matter how many memories or stories we share - she was so much more". In closing, many thanks to the gang at Reynar's Funeral Home for taking such good care of us during these past difficult days. Big hugs to Bev Dunsmore for officiating today. And, thanks to Larry McGowan for the care and love he put into making Lil's bird-house urn. I'd like to thank my sisters for watching over Lil the way they did over the past eleven years, after her stroke, and for their selfless dedication during Lil's last long days. Finally, a HUGE thank you to the professional, caring, loving, dedicated staff at Rotary Manor for taking such good care of our old sweetheart. _______________________________________________________________________ Special Memories of Lil were written and presented at her Celebration of Life by her brother, Roy Forbes. Lillian passed away peacefully surrounded by her family on Saturday June 20, 2015 in Dawson Creek at the age of 74 years. A Celebration of Lil's Life was held on Friday, June 26, 2015 at 1:00pm from Reynars Funeral Chapel. Bev Dunsmore officiated. Interment was held in the Rolla Cemetery. For friends so wishing donations may be made in memory of Lil to the Rotary Manor Resident Council Fund 1125-90th Avenue Dawson Creek, B.C. V1G 5A3. Very Respectfully Reynars Funeral Home & Crematorium