Obituary of Elizabeth Marie Dechief

Elizabeth Marie Dechief It's an honour to deliver my grandmother's eulogy. Although I knew her as Granny, others knew her as Elise, Betty, or Aunt Betty, her official name was Elizabeth Marie Dechief. She was born on November 28, 1918 at her parents' home in Bay Tree, Alberta. She was the second child and oldest daughter of Henri and Rose Bourque. Her siblings were an older brother, Emile, a younger brother, Art, and two younger sisters, Henriette and Rosemarie. Henri and Rose Bourque spoke French at home, so when their oldest children, Emile and Elizabeth began attending the local school, which was in English, the children at first had no idea what they were being taught. However, it didn't take Elizabeth long to piece things together and to complete the highest locally-available grade by age thirteen. At that point, she went away to school: first boarding at the convent in Donnelly, Alberta; then in Grande Prairie, she attended St. Joseph's Academy for high school. Elizabeth graduated from high school when she was just sixteen, and too young to be accepted into Normal school to become a teacher. After a year back at home in Bay Tree, she moved to Edmonton to begin Normal school. Those years in high school and Normal school were very significant and memorable to Elizabeth. The stories she told about boarding away and studying to be a teacher always struck me as quite parallel to those of Lucie Maude Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables. After completing her studies, Elizabeth, then called Betty, taught in a one-room school near Girouxville, AB. There were nine grades in one class. And although the language of instruction was English, it was not the first language of any of the students: some spoke French, others spoke Russian. These were not easy work circumstances. However, while in Girouxville, Elizabeth met Marcel Dechief, the love of her life. They were married at Elizabeth's parents' home in Bay Tree on July 29, 1940. After teaching for three years, Elizabeth had to give it up because these were times when a woman could either be a teacher or a wife, but not both. In 1941, Elizabeth and Marcel purchased a farm at Bay Tree, just a couple of kilometers from Elizabeth's parents' farm--this became the Dechief farm which remains in the family. Said family began when Denis was born in 1941; then Henry was born in 1945; George followed in 1950; and Flora rounded out the family in 1955. Besides having four children, these were busy years for Elizabeth. While Marcel farmed, she raised the family "pioneer-style", with no electricity and no running water. The farm included cattle, pigs and chickens. Once, when helping to load pigs to take to the auction, they were so hard to load that Elizabeth had to hit one over the head with a big stick, knocking the pig unconscious. Elizabeth was quite relieved when the pig came to, and she realized that she hadn't killed it. Elizabeth grew a big garden and she also oversaw lots of berry picking and undertook a lot of canning. One year she made many, many, many quarts of chokecherry syrup because Denis and Henry had picked chokecherries by the tub full. Flora remembers churning butter with her mother, and beating egg whites with a whisk to make angel food cake because she didn't have an electric mixer. Elizabeth was also known for her very flaky pie pastry. Elizabeth was a member of the Bay Tree local of the Farm Women's Union of Alberta. She and Marcel once went to Edmonton as delegates to the Farmers Union of Alberta and the Farm Women's Union of Alberta convention. Elizabeth was a fantastic seamstress who meticulously sewed garments for her entire family, and she taught sewing lessons through the Department of Agriculture, too. She was also a 4H leader for the Sewing section. She sewed many quilts! Each of her grandchildren received one as we graduated high school. She completed all of these projects on her old treadle sewing machine. She also loved to crochet and made many, many beautiful tablecloths and doilies. Elizabeth was an avid and prolific reader. Even in her final months, the library supplied her with a shopping bag full of books each month and she often asked family members to bring her more books to supplement these. She also enjoyed audio books. From childhood, the Catholic Church was always a big part of Elizabeth's life. She was devout and she passed the church's values along to her family. In 1967, Marcel passed away from a heart attack. This left Elizabeth with her two youngest children, George and Flora, still in school. To be able to stay on the farm, Elizabeth attained her driver's license at the age of forty-nine. Learning how at a later age meant that driving was always a challenge for her. Lynda and Michelle recall a time in the mid-1980s when they were passengers in her car, and Granny was stopped at a stop sign but felt she was too far forward. So, she put the car into reverse and, without even looking, drove straight backwards into some guy in his car. Then proceeded to give him heck and refused to share her driver's license and registration info! She did keep driving for several more years. In 1974, at 54, Elizabeth sold the farm to Denis and Henry, and bought a house in Dawson Creek. She began teaching again, this time as a substitute. Elizabeth lived in this same very clean and very organized house until she was ninety years old and then moved to Northview Assisted Living. During those years in town, Elizabeth devoted a lot of time to her eight grandchildren, at first taking care of us, and later hosting us for visits. Lyle recalls Granny staying with us at the farm during fall harvesting when he was twelve and I was eight. Our Mom was driving a second combine, while Dad and Henry combined and hauled grain. Granny prepared meals for everyone and Lyle delivered them to the fields. Through their coordinated effort, Lyle came to have a sense of appreciation for Granny's expectation of herself and others in terms of doing a job well. When she was given responsibility it was no laughing matter--it had her undivided focus. All the details large and small were considered, and it gave her a sense of satisfaction to have completed a job to the best of her ability. And her abilities were impressive. Elizabeth was quite pleased when in 1986, the gift that arrived on her birthday, was her youngest granddaughter, Tamara. From then on, Elizabeth and Tamara always celebrated their birthdays together. Over the years we all, at some point, helped Granny with the yardwork at her house. Her treed yard was perfect for making enormous piles of leaves that we all jumped and played in for hours. It was in that backyard that Trevor may have heard her utter the only profane word that we know to have crossed her lips. She patiently played games like cribbage and Chinese checkers with us, and we never left her house without being offered a wagon wheel or a revel, depending on the season. We have other food-related memories of our Granny: • Lynda recalls the delicious jelly rolls she made. • And Jenn remembers that Granny always had that gelatinous lunchmeat with the unfortunate name of "head cheese" that of course no child could enjoy. • I remember her explaining to me how to cook a chicken in order to make use of every part of it over a series of meals. This was just one example of how she was careful to never waste anything. She also saved her cornflakes boxes and used them to wrap our Christmas gifts. We somehow never got wise to this and every Christmas morning at least a few of us were deeply concerned that we were just getting a box of cornflakes. But of course we weren't just getting cornflakes. Elizabeth often hand-crafted, or at least carefully selected our gifts based on her knowledge of our particular likes and dislikes. And she was incredibly fair. Somehow she managed to be thoughtful about us as individuals, and yet extremely equitable. She was like this in all ways related to our family. She loved us all very much and truly equally. She always sent a birthday card or an anniversary card for all our family's special days. These cards often included prayers for us. Elizabeth's faith in Catholicism was profound. It seemed to provide her with an emotional and spiritual even keel that allowed her to remain productive even in difficult times when many of us would have despaired. Elizabeth had a keen intelligence, a healthy curiosity and an outstanding, even uncanny memory. I remember many conversations where a story Granny was telling veered into another story and at some point it seemed like we were never going to return to the question at hand, but suddenly, she would make a brilliant turn, recall a very specific detail, and there we'd be at the end of the original story. That was Granny's magic trick. Education was very important to Elizabeth, but so too, was learning in general. She was always interested in learning something new. As one example, she learned how to use a computer in her 80's. And just last year, Cindy gave Granny a Kindle (a digital reader) for Christmas. Although Granny was very dubious about it at the time, the lure of books was too strong: when she ran out of library books this past summer, Granny learned how to use an e-reader at age 97! She always had questions, too. She'd be thinking of us and wonder about a specific detail, and she remembered to ask us when we next spoke. That thoughtful attention made our conversations, and even our actions in between conversations, count more. Granny was always paying attention. Elizabeth had a strong presence, and perhaps it is now that she has passed on that we can best see her many influences. Besides making us feel loved and cared about, she imbued in each of us the importance of learning, of fairness, and of family. That we are here in the Catholic Church to say farewell strikes me as especially important to her. I recall from my childhood that she would speak about not being around for too much longer. She thought that she'd never live to see her great grandchildren. But she did. Most of her grandchildren are now in our thirties or forties: we've been lucky to have experienced our Granny's love for so long, and especially to see her delighted interactions with her greatgrandchildren. And it is here in this spiritual place, amongst the Catholic community, just as she wished, that we say goodbye to our smart, generous, wonderful Elise, Betty, Elizabeth, Granny, and Mom. Delivered by Diane Dechief with history and memories shared by the Dechief and Christenson families. Service 2:00 pm Monday, December 19, 2016 Notre Dame Roman Catholic Church 908 - 104th Avenue DAWSON CREEK, British Columbia, Canada V1G 3H7 Interment Dawson Creek City Cemetery 1900 Alaska Avenue DAWSON CREEK, British Columbia, Canada